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Bob Barrett

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(no subject) [Jan. 24th, 2008|08:46 pm]
Bob Barrett
To say where to begin assumes there is in fact a beginning and as if I’m going to entertain you with some kind of fantasizing story about my life. The reality is I’m avoiding the ludicrous amount of reading I ought to be doing by occupying myself here. That doesn’t mean I don’t have anything to say, but rewarding myself with the comedy Daniel Tosh, Yahtzee Croshaw, and John Heffron, has left me in my place when it comes to the type of sense of humor I like to think I have, but fail miserably at delivering.

I got straight A’s last semester despite having a near emotional break down midway through. Between Cramer’s Rule, Roy’s Identity, and Shepherd Lemma I’m the most capable mathematically then I’ve ever been. I used to fantasy endlessly about how I would change everything in my life if given the opportunity to go back and start over, but lately I’ve said fuck all that because everything is really okay. I’ve adopted the philosophy I had when I was five before I could read which was, “I’m 100% capable of anything, but I just haven’t gotten around to learning it yet”. I wish the five year old version of myself could have zipped forward in time and had rat-tailed my 22 and 23 year old self in the sack every time I even considered looking through the undergraduate catalog at every 10 ten school, and trying to figure out where I went wrong.

The ping-pong match is coming up soon. For those of you who don’t know, indisputably the best player at Northern Illinois University who also happens to be in the economics program with me formally challenged me to a ping-pong match. She was ranting about her proficiency before a class one day, and I might have suggested that I could beat her. Quickly, she turned this into a beat with the condition that the loser treats the winner to a movie. Recalling a similar scenario from Amarillo Slim’s Biography, I agreed under two conditions: 1) I get some time to practice, and 2) I get to pick the paddles. For the last three weeks, I’ve been practicing with a 20lb frying pan. I’m going to show up to the match with two of them, and let her pick which “paddle” she wants to use.

I almost got a DUI last week after having a few drinking with cougar teacher I had for my industrial organization class. I was on my way to Wheaton to watch stargate, and got pulled over for forgetting to turn my lights on. The officer asked me how much I had to drink, and after a full sobriety test, I was thankfully determined to be under the limit. Seeing as I can’t afford to a DUI, despite how much fun they sound, this is the closest call I’ve ever had. Logically, this has resulted being more cautious with my consumption, and perhaps will encourage the rest of you to do the same. This might make my weekly poker game at Roundheads slightly less enjoyable, especially given particular members of that group, but it’s certainly a game I can’t avoid not to play in.
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On opportunity costs [Jul. 5th, 2007|12:59 pm]
Bob Barrett
Opportunity cost by definition is the difference in value of the nextbest alternative. In situations where decisions are made as a function of utility; these costs are often unsubstantial and unnoticeable due to our perceptional insensitivity to happiness. Our state of happiness is rarely cluttered by our decisions between coke and Pepsi, which lane to drive in, or where we eat lunch everyday.

When it comes to matters of the heart these opportunity costs weigh more on me then I care to admit. I will always love Kate with all of my heart, and feel blessed for the nearly three happy years I was given to share with her. And because of negligence and environmental factors of my own design, being with Kate is no longer available to me right now. By the nature of fundamental economic forces, I’m forced to consider alternatives. And even though each choice is wonderful in its own regard, I’m never going to be completely satisfied with these alternatives due to the opportunity costs they present.

The only positive spin I can use to sum up this situation is that sometimes we mislabel our best opinion due to the unavailability of information provided to us by the market, in this case, for life long companionship. This brings some justification to the cliché that if it was meant to be, then in the long run it will be. The torture is that the long run is an undefined amount of time which resources are no longer fixed, and all return maximizing decisions are available. I’m averse to making short run sacrifices for larger returns in the long run, but I’ve come to accept that my preferences aren’t always considered when it comes to matters of my heart.
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The Kitchen Slave [Jan. 10th, 2007|02:29 pm]
Bob Barrett
"Serendipitously, I found that a man cooking turned out to be seductive. I'd invited a woman over for dinner- let's call her Mary Alice. I put on some Erroll Garner, then some Miles Davis, then 'Moonglow' and the theme from Picnic , the most romantic music I know from the most romantic love scene ever filmed, and brought out the first course which I'd made beforehand-shrimp Rothchild, which is hollowed out loaves of bread sauteed in clarified butter, then filled with shrimp braised in fish stock for just a couple of minitues, the stock then reduced practically to a syrup, topped off in the oven with some Gruyere and a slice of truffle. I brought it to her.

"Oh," she said and followed me back to the kitchen where I put together the tournedos Rossini-small filets of beef topped with foie gras, a truffle slice, and a Madeira reduction.

"Ah." She began asking very detailed questions about what I was doing and who I was.

What cinched it was a spectacular creation called Le Talleyrand. You make it with canned cherries of all things and ground almonds and sugar, cover them with a meringue, and in the meringue you put half an empty eggshell, bake it and for the spectacular part you turn off the lights, ignitea little kirsh or rum, pour it into the eggshell when it comes out of the oven all browned , and it looks like a small volcano-which is where things can get moist.

Mary Alice's eyes were limpid and beseeching. 'You're the deepest and most complex man I know, and I love your knowledge and your fingers... but I made another date tonight at ten.' And off she went to spend the night with another guy. all my work went to benefit him! And he never called to thank me. "

-Jonathan Renyolds, Dinner with Demons, 2003

This is among the reasons women suck.
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(no subject) [Sep. 28th, 2006|12:36 pm]
Bob Barrett
[mood |crappycrappy]

I’m feel as if I’m being tested from every facet of my life. This year is about establishing a proper foundation for next year, and here I am in week five, and I haven’t even really started yet.

I need to take the GRE, which is going to involve hours of studying, I need to get my letters of recommendation, and I need to put together my paperwork to apply to grad school before the end of the year.

On top of that, I feel like I’m a colossal disappointment to the management team at my work. My job is nothing hard, but because everyone is so new, I get the impression that my five years of experience should mean I need less training then the rest, but I haven’t proven that so far.

I really ought to be out shining many people right now, but I just seem to lack some of the necessary motivation.
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(no subject) [Aug. 23rd, 2006|10:15 pm]
Bob Barrett
[mood |pleasedpleased]

The first day of work wasn’t so bad. Tomorrow is a grueling ten hour day in the sun, unless of course it rains (sign of the devil: help me Lord SatAn). I bake delicious bread and luscious cookies everyday, set up desserts, and then make sure everyone is where they ought to be, and not visible picking there noses, or eating from the line. I don’t know how stressful my job is going to be, but I have this feeling that if I can train these students into flying ninja monkeys, it wouldn’t be so bad.

One thing that I keep hearing from my “fellow” managers is that students are lazy. I don’t doubt this, but I like to think that anyone can be molded into the ideal employee (flying ninja monkeys). As optimistic as that sounds, no job I can see just yet is rocket science, and their is no reason that an individual can’t take ownership of there position day in and day out.
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(no subject) [Aug. 22nd, 2006|02:07 am]
Bob Barrett
[mood |anxiousanxious]

I keep trying to formulate something coherent to write here, but all that springs from my finger tips is this nervous excited unintelligible nonsense. I start work on Wednesday, I’m scared to death I’m going to fuck up, which seems to be the way I decide to handle these kinds of things. Maybe I’ll be more positive about it after my first day.
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(no subject) [Aug. 1st, 2006|09:07 am]
Bob Barrett
[mood |crankycranky]

It's tough having someone on your friends list who updates every twelve hours or so.
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(no subject) [Jul. 31st, 2006|10:48 pm]
Bob Barrett
[mood |hothot]

I want to live somewhere cold. I don't mind the snow, I don't mind the idea of coming home, building a fire, and living my life in a winter wonderland. I'll learn to ski. Most of the sports I like are inside anyway. Fuck green grass. Fuck the animals that leave for the winter. I can't wait until the heat index returns to the 90's.
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(no subject) [Jul. 23rd, 2006|04:22 pm]
Bob Barrett
[mood |satisfiedsatisfied]

I feel like I have a lot on my plate now.

My classes are going okay. Me thinks an ‘A’ in evil ASSEMBLOR (ASSEMBLOR is the monster that casts maze on you as you program, hence why the programs take much longer than they seem), and a ‘B’ in the math (I suck at algebra as it turns out, I blame my high school teachers, especially that Mrs. Doorey, she was a real skank).

The job hunt really went well last week. It’s most probable that I’ll be working at Ruby Tuesdays (one that isn’t owned by a hussy for the purpose of wicked vampire rituals), but I have other prospects if it doesn’t work out.

I feel the pressure of my brother’s bachelor party and wedding. I need $$$ for Vegas, and I would like to be a little toned before the wedding. My brother said that it’s possible that we (as he and I) could take Jiu-Jitsu again on the cheap.

For those of you with roommates: ditch your roommates. Change your locks, get them evicted, or simply the next time you move, move into a smaller one bedroom just for yourself. Living completely on your own rules. I’m like the 40 year old virgin, but I’m getting laid.
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(no subject) [Jun. 19th, 2006|08:50 pm]
Bob Barrett
[mood |stressedstressed]

I have problems with stress management. This problem closely correlates to my problem with time management, but is also affected by my pursuit to relative perfection. Today I’m stressed about m lack of employment (unemployment I think they call it in some circles).

My motivation is making my parent’s proud, as 2 dimensional and dorky as it sounds, it really is what drives me. I’m also competitively motivated against my friends, classmates, and my brother. I never feel like I’m winning.

Today was the first day of class, and eight weeks doesn’t seem like nearly enough. I’m sure I’ll feel differently after the two seventy-five minutes classes, four days a week. Suck.

I can feel stress melt away the more time I spend in my apartment alone. I love it. I do feel a bit like a Sim, a Sim without furniture.
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